Nothing needs to be said. All the yellowbellies out there think week one is the start of the season, but for the Gooch, it's just another day at the office. We're off to a hot 3-1 start thanks to Hawaii showing love to a brotha, and we're looking to keep the train rollin'. Here are you're NCAAF Week 1 picks.
Florida Atlantic +27.5 @ #5 Ohio State
Don't overthink it. Yes, Dwayne Haskins is gone. Yes, Urban Meyer is gone. We know. DON'T BE AN IDIOT. Ohio State's new starter Justin Fields is going to look to start off his Ohio State career on fire. J.K. Dobbins is an absolute beast, and a fresh batch of talented wideouts will help ease the load for Fields.
FAU has no shot. The sacrificial lamb to be slaughtered. The only think I'm worried about here is the fact that Lane Kiffin and that sweet visor are going to be standing on the other sideline. Lord knows he's juiced to be out of hurricane country, but it's week one, and Ohio State needs to lead with their best foot forward under new head coach Ryan Day. Buckeyes dominate mid-majors; I don't make the rules, I just play by 'em.
The Pick: Ohio State -27.5
#11 Oregon +3.5 @ #16 Auburn
The Meatball game of the week... and really the only game worth watching intently the entire weekend. This is Oregon QB Justin Herbert's first stepping stone on the road to the Heisman, and maybe even a potential first-round NFL Draft selection, and his season starts ROUGH on the road against Gus Malzahn and dem boys.
My soul is torn in two at the moment. On one hand, I hate the SEC and everything it stands for: the pageantry, the fanbases, everything. Listen, I'd probably get up for these games too if I had to live in that swampy hellhole for the other 352 days of the year. I count my blessings every day that I live in the crown jewel of western civilization, and don't have to worry about crawly critters or voodoo or shit like that. On the other hand, I hate Oregon, mainly because of their need to constantly change up the uniforms, and also because they definitely don't use their partnership with Nike to illegally recruit players. Never.
Screw it. Auburn by a billion. War Eagle.
The Pick: Auburn +3.5 / 1st half OVER 27.5
Fresno State +13.5 @ USC
This is the Gloria Estefan "Turn the Beat Around" game of the week. Whenever these two get in the ring with each other, there's always something weird in the air, and Fresno likes to give the Trojans a tough game (minus the last time they met when SC won 52-13). Well that ends this week!
Trojans skipper Clay Helton's seat is hotter than the hinges on the gates of Hades, and he's not about to lose his job and the hands of a school that's most famous for their dentistry program and weirdo Derek Carr. I want to see J.T. Daniels to light it up, and connect with senior receiver Michael Pittman Jr. early and often. Also, I'm a huge name guy, and TE Erik Krommenhoek is right at the top of the list. Trojans in a route.
The pick: USC -13.5
As always, Godspeed