Preface: A couple of months ago, in an effort to cut some weight and get looking fresh for the upcoming winter season, I decided to quit eating fast food and attempted to cut carbs all-together, which is why I haven't done one of these in what feels like millennia. However, after realizing that my skinny-fat ass is never going to change its body composition from that of Jason Segel, I've decided to get back on the horse. Let's get this bread.
In an effort to dupe the entirety of the American public, Burger King has attempted to create a burger that appeals to the obese stoner that lives inside all of us. By combining two of America's most beloved sandwiches, the cheeseburger and the Philly cheese steak, you would think it would be impossible to screw up such an incredible idea. You would be wrong. For whatever reason, BK has this fascination with venturing into foreign territory and putting their corporate spin on some of this nations most beloved sandwiches, and as the cool kids would say, this is not it, Chief. Let's get into this cheesey nightmare.
Looks: Gross, gross, gross. You know there's a problem when in the ads their running, it still looks like a double cheeseburger with human bile dolloped on top. In person, its not much better. First of all, maybe the person over-did the onion "sauce" atop the patties, but the burger wrap itself was simply a travesty. Typically I like to keep the wrapping on the burger as I eat and peel back as I go (In'n'Out style) to keep my fingies nice and clean, but this dirty onion diaper made that impossible. The (presumably?) cheese whiz sauce was there, and the double cheeseburger looked pretty standard. No garnish to speak of, but if you've given up the day and are ordering a cheese steak burger, you're probably not worried about vegetables.
Eye Score: 3.8/10
Taste: In a shocking twist of events, the onion/cheese sauce combo was atrocious. The first thing that hits your mouth is this sweetness from the cheese sauce, which is as gross as that sounds. Burger King keeps doing this "sweet sauce" thing; they did it with the Chicken Parm and the Cordon Bleu, and it's beyond me how no one seemingly has been fired over this. It's simply baffling. Like, in what universe has anyone been like, "You know what would go great with this cheese whiz? Sugar!" So yeah, that taste pretty much dominates the entire experience, and you can't really taste the onions. The silver lining, however, is if you scrape the gobbledygook off the top, which I did, you are left with a pretty standard Burger King double cheeseburger, which is pretty good.
Mouth Score: With sauce: 2.5; without: 7.4
After Affect: I am sorry to say that I cannot give you a body score as I performed the old scrape'n'scarf. I was hungry and had enough self-respect to not endure such a venture. I enjoyed my plain double cheeseburger and washed it down with a Kona Longboard. Sorry to disappoint.
Agita Score: N/A
Overall Score: 3.2 Meatballs/10
Fast Food enthusiast on a mission to try every promotional/seasonal fast food item. I do it so you don't have to. New review every week